Turning 40 in China's Tech: A Birthday Spent Counting Layoffs

Since the arrival of AI, there's less and less human speech on the internet. It's filled with phrases like "hitting the nail on the head, the most direct, no beating around the bush," "this isn't... it's..." etc. I personally hate it. As soon as I detect an AI flavor, I close the page, regardless of whether it makes sense.

Human declaration: this article is entirely handcrafted, recording what happened around my 40th birthday, leaving a bit of human speech on the internet.

40 years old, once such a distant age, arrived in the blink of an eye. Borrowing Zhu Xi's words to pretend to be profound:

Without noticing the pond's spring grass dream, the plane leaves outside the steps already sound of autumn.

Two years ago, one night, riding my motorcycle home. I thought about 20 years later, when I'd be almost 50, and buy the Gold Wing I've long desired, take my wife on a motorcycle trip. Great.

Then I thought, no, wait, it's not almost 50, it's almost 60. Working overtime really harms the body.

I basically don't celebrate birthdays, so even my wife doesn't remember my birthday. My solar birthday does receive many congratulatory messages:

China Merchants Bank, Sinopec, IKEA, Chow Tai Fook, Beijing Rural Commercial Bank

Alipay, Futu Niu Niu, China Merchants Bank also have special splash screens. My phone's performance is poor, so screenshots always lag, perfectly missing the launch screen.

But the most special is the one the property manager sends every year:

Every time I see this picture I laugh. How do you know I'm a "1"? What if I'm a "0"? Being perfunctory is worse than not sending it.

The night before National Day, the team lead and a few colleagues were chatting, saying that the team might be further reduced, and suggested we look at internal opportunities. I said I wouldn't; it's fine now, if they cut me, so be it. He mentioned that I have strong learning ability, and with AI support, the client-side is saturated, but I could try switching to backend. I remained unmoved. It's just a matter of dying sooner or later, so I might as well keep dogging it here.

Then he said seriously:

How do you know you're not on the next list? Comparatively, your rank is more dangerous. If they cut you, it's like taking out two for one.

I still acted like a dead pig not afraid of boiling water, indifferent. If they cut me, I'll go home and lie flat. What truly moved me was his next line:

You high-rank folks, look for opportunities inside and outside the company, leave some rice for the other brothers.

Fine, I'll take a look. And besides, my current income in Hefei is indeed decent; it's nearly impossible to find similar pay elsewhere. I'll try to stay at the company longer, save up more "redemption money."

That night, I brought home the laptop bag that had been sitting at the company for 4 years, a prize for the company's "XXX Star" award. My wife asked why I brought it home after so long. I said so that on the day I get cut, I'll have less to carry.

I also told her about the evening chat. She asked:

Why did the team lead want you to transfer? Is he going to cut you?

I said it wasn't targeted at me; we were all chatting, giving myself more options.

One day during the National Day holiday, my dad, after drinking too much, suddenly asked:

Are you going to be eliminated?

What the hell? "Eliminated" sounds too harsh. But well, maybe it's not wrong? I said I'd be happy to be eliminated, because they'd pay me compensation, and I don't want to work anyway.

I don't know when my wife told my mom, and how my mom relayed it to my dad...

The picture above has a typo, fixed by some AI. I'll complain later; the process was too ridiculous.

After National Day, some things happened:

On the 8th, the team lead asked in the group if anyone wanted to transfer to the backend group. A colleague from the 80s, A, signed up. Considering that the place I'd go might have a senior guy with whom cooperation could be difficult, I didn't sign up.

The team originally had 4 colleagues from the 80s, ages in an arithmetic progression, workstations adjacent, forming a "丄" shape. In early July, the eldest left, I took over as the oldest, and the workstations became an "L" shape. Now it's a "一" (a horizontal line). Soon it'll become a "・" or even "NULL."

A left a 4K monitor. B intended to use it but found it had a sticker with the name of a colleague who got cut on 9/11, so he gave it up, maybe afraid of bad luck? It doesn't matter; I'm a firm atheist. So I now have three 4K monitors, one of which is my own.

On the 10th, team building. A and I arrived early. Chatting, we saw a group of admin-jacket types walking over, laughing. A said excitedly, "Damn, isn't that the bigshot?" I didn't know him, but I'd often heard his name; an absolute top-level bigwig. To encounter him here. Are they here for team building too?

During team building, B said he knew someone who could directly contact the bigwig. Damn, with that connection, you can't even use a monitor? Maybe I could contact Trump through six degrees of separation. Next time before drawing a K-line chart, I can get a sneak peek and share some info, and I wouldn't need to watch for opportunities.

On the 12th, I had a meal with a friend from out of town. He used to live near me in Beijing, and I often mooched meals at his place. Due to a business adjustment at his company, he was about to be cut. He found a job in Hefei and came to check it out.

He had asked me before; I said I'd never heard of the company, but the salary offered was top-tier for Hefei, so I told him there might be a trap. Even that prestigious company has endless flaws, let alone an unknown small company. Sure enough, during the interview, they didn't mention the work schedule (大小周), and the monthly salary was split into base and performance pay, so the take-home was much less than expected. He's planning to give up. It confirms the saying:

The mouth of XX is a liar's ghost.

On the 14th, I asked a colleague to merge an MR. He replied this was the last time he could merge for me; his contract wasn't renewed, and his last day was my lunar birthday. Shocking! After all, they had just cut a batch on 9/11, and it's not over.

He and I are the same age, from the same hometown, grad school alumni, both came from big companies with pay cuts, and both are motorcycle riders. He came to the office that day for handover, returned his computer, and would not come back. I quickly scheduled a lunch, but he ended up paying.

He said he had prepared his wife long in advance, but when she learned, she was still disappointed. Asked about future plans, he said he wouldn't look for a job for now. No one wants him, and facing a much younger boss would be awkward. He'd first try an OPC to explore some direction. Actually, I have the same plan. The day I get cut, I won't look again. This job is over.

Even more coincidental, all three motorcycle riders who joined less than a year ago have been forced to leave, leaving only me and another existing rider. When I told B this pattern, he had planned to buy an electric motorcycle but now doesn't even dare to look at bikes.

Alright, so I won't look at the Gold Wing either. Keeping my job is the priority. By the way, I truly envy the Japanese; you can get one for less than half the price, and there's no 13-year forced scrapping.

The next day, I found the team lead to ask if the company had any more moves. He said he didn't know; they always strike suddenly. We chatted for over an hour, and the gist was just four words: "Plan early."

I'm not afraid of being cut; I've been ready for it anytime. But my income is still decent. If I get cut, I'd only get 2,088 yuan per month in unemployment benefits. And only for a year, and I'd need to pay social insurance myself. That's a pain.

If I could transfer to a group that's short-staffed and survive a bit longer, reducing the mortgage burden, that would indeed be a good choice, and it would also leave a bowl of rice for the other brothers.

On my lunar 40th birthday, I started seriously reading internal recruiting posts. They were from over a month ago; even the HR who posted them had bailed. Sure enough, there are no client-side positions. Algorithms/large models are beyond me, C++ not fluent, and the Java backend dev JDs require proficiency in a bunch of things I've never heard of. I have no choice but to contact the hiring departments.

I first asked about a backend position in Hefei. The other party said the HC was revoked, unknown when it would restore. I still introduced my work experience, noting that while my backend experience is limited, I'm familiar with Java, and my learning ability is fine; I self-studied and crossed from a medical university to USTC's CS master's program. He replied with a thumbs-up, hoping for a chance to work together.

I continued browsing and saw the name of a grad school classmate, now a team lead at another branch of our company. Although we'd added each other on WeChat long ago, we were only like-counter acquaintances, never having chatted. To be cautious, I asked if he was at our company. He said yes.

I switched to the internal chat tool and asked if I could be his subordinate. Naturally, we exchanged flattery:

Your coming would be an honor for me

I said I was serious, and afraid he might forget who I am, I repeated my story. He said he knew; in school, people often discussed how I made such a big leap in the exam. Haha, what an honor 🤣.

But unfortunately, he works on AI algorithms, and his boss is also from a research background, making it hard for someone with only engineering experience. Well, algorithms really are beyond me, and I can't learn them quickly, so I won't cause him trouble.

Back then, we were both campus recruits for the Wolf Factory (Baidu). Then I missed the rocket-like rise of "条子" (maybe stock options), and his previous company failed to go public, otherwise he'd be free. Many classmates got rich at Pinduoduo, and one was even among the first 10 employees. Some continued to a PhD and are now advisors or even deans at USTC. Of course, there were also mentors and benefactors.

Alas, it's fate. Borrowing the elder's famous words:

A person's fate, of course, requires self-struggle, but also must consider the historical process.

After that, I didn't ask other groups, because HC is precious and should be saved; surely they'd prioritize experienced young people. I genuinely wanted to leave some rice for the brothers, but no one gave me a bowl of rice 😭.

On my birthday, there was still no special ceremony. Lunch was beef noodles, dinner was takeout grilled fish, all eaten alone. I usually love these foods, but both tasted off, like my college entrance exam where I underperformed by 100 points.

My WeChat Moments has been closed for a long time; only "Listen Together" remains on the "Discover" page for song recognition. I had planned to temporarily open it and post "0x28" but thought better of it; it's meaningless, even a bit childish.

Years ago, I imagined my 40s:

1. Stable job, a management role at a big company

2. Property appreciation, BMW X6, net worth tens of millions, i.e., A8

3. Harmonious family, virtuous wife and smart child, healthy parents

From today's perspective, point 1 is the most laughable. I don't know where "stability" is now, or where "work" will be in the future.

Point 2 was a hallucination from eating too many poisonous mushrooms...

Point 3, except for the foolish "unfinished building child," is barely realized. More than 4 years ago, to achieve this goal, I resigned from a management position at a big company, took a cliff-like pay cut, and came to a small company to be a frontline soldier. "Harmonious family brings prosperity," I think it's the reverse: "Prosperity brings harmony." And what's the foundation of "prosperity"? Perhaps "work"?

In some ways, I'm extremely old-fashioned and stubborn. I'm a firm supporter of old energy; to hell with new energy, just four-wheeled electric scooters. Originally, out of interest, I gave up medicine for coding. But ever since AI agents could write code themselves, I like it less and less; there's no sense of achievement like traditional programming.

But the wheel of history rolls on without a brake. Don't try to step on the pedal to block technological progress. AI is advancing rapidly and will replace most jobs in the future. In the long run, it's certainly good for humanity. But for people today, not necessarily. It's like Emperor Wu of Han defeating the Xiongnu; today it's something to be proud of, but the people back then must have lived hard, merely surviving.

On the weekend after my birthday, I went to the hospital to have a small fat particle under my left eye removed, which had been there for years. That counts as a step in "abandoning the old." Now I've had cosmetic surgery. Perhaps when I'm unemployed, I'll show my face and join the edge-dancing crowd, not wasting my 1.8-meter legs. Speaking of which, does that count as an OPC?